


Breaking Free

by Lyrism



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Action & Romance, Action/Adventure, Aftermath of Torture, Body Horror, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Death, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Thriller, Torture, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-06-07 18:59:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6820222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lyrism/pseuds/Lyrism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James Barnes wasn't the only HYDRA experiment.</p><p>He wasn't the only assassin.</p><p>He wasn't the only one who was Wiped, tortured and used.</p><p>There was someone else.</p><p>She was a ruthless assassin; twistingly dangerous and sickeningly cold. They made her heartless. But most of all, she was unbelievably deadly. Her abilities were not only enhanced, but mutated.</p><p>HYDRA was blinded with her power; they wanted more. So they attempted to improve her abilities even further.</p><p>The experiment went dreadfully wrong.</p><p>Code name: The Fatal Shadow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PART ONE

THE FATAL **SHADOW**

****_"To find the truth, sometimes you have to reach into the darkness."_


	2. Prologue

She pulled the gun swiftly from her waist belt, her hand holding the handle in a firm grip.  
  
"Please, don't kill me!! I swear I've done nothing wrong! Please! I beg you, don't shoot! Please!" the man begged pathetically, his body shaking not from the cold, but from fear.  
  
She stood there with her feet planted firmly in the snow, face void of emotion, eyes trained on her target.  
  
Click.  
  
The man fell back with a jolt, a bullet wedged in the middle of his forehead.  
  
Red blood oozed over his face, staining the snow beneath him a deep scarlet.  
  
It was nothing she hadn't done a hundred times before. A bead of sweat ran down her temple. Killing came to her naturally.  
  
Her earpiece screeched and static pained her ear. Instinctively, her hand rose to press it. "Target has been successfully terminated." She stated in a monotone. The words had left her mouth countless times before.  
  
"Copy. Return to extraction point." a man's gruff voice replied from the other end.  
  
With gun returned securely to her belt, she turned to head back to base.  
  
She didn't give her dead target a second glance as she trudged through the snow, silent as a shadow.


	3. Chapter 3

"Mission report." The man stood with his hands clasped behind his back.  
  
"Target was reached with 27 causalities. I brought him out and shot him," she replied.  
  
"Are you certain you killed the man?"  
  
"Yes. I shot a bullet in his head. No chances of survival."  
  
"Tell me, soldier, does a bullet to the head mean death?"  
  
She hesitated. "No. But I made certain that he was dead. The bullet came out through the back of his forehead, sir."  
  
The man licked his lips, adjusting his glasses. "Very well."  
  
She waited. Was he going to Wipe her? Send her back into cryo-freeze? Send her on another mission?  
  
"We have found another mission for you to go on. The complex you will be breaking into is heavily guarded and located in a secret base several hundred miles from here. You have been assigned to carry out and complete this mission with the Winter Soldier. The two of you should be able to get far enough to assassinate Dr. Aria Liam. Both of you will head out at dusk and are expected to reach there within 3 days." The man informed, scanning through files and data tables all the while.  
  
Shadow's jaw clenched; she preferred to work alone, but perhaps the Winter Soldier would be of good use. She had seen him on multiple occasions, only for fleeting seconds, but all she knew was that he was an assassin and an experiment, just like she was.  
  
"Do you still get those headaches? Do you see those images you had described?" He said out of the blue. She purposely hesitated before replying.  
  
"No, Sir." She lied, feigning confusion.  
  
Ever since she'd received a brutal blow to the head a few weeks back, she'd been experiencing headaches at varying levels. Sometimes it was a dull throb at the back of her head, at other times, her whole head pounded like beating drums. But there was more to it than that. She'd received many blows over the years, countless of them to her skull. But this...this was different. And it didn't start after the blow, it started before it.  


_The metal door was unhinged and catapulted across the room with two massive kicks, a large dent in the middle there the impact was made. A sealed vault was in the corner, just where the commander had told her it would have been. It took a quick glance to see it was password-protected._  
_She saw a figure of a man exit through the window shortly after she entered the room. A woman was about to follow him, but it was too late._  
 _Shadow charged towards her and grabbed the woman's collar, brutally tossing her away from the window._  
 _The woman slumped against the wall, breathing heavily from the impact. "What's the password!?" The assassin demanded, training her gun at the woman's frail body. The latter looked up, clutching her stomach, fully aware of what fate held for her._  
 _Shadow pulled down her black mask - it covered her nose and mouth - to make her voice clearer. "What's the password!?" She repeated again, louder this time._  
 _"That's not possible," the woman said between pants. Her glossy eyes wandered over the asset's face in a dazed manner._  
 _"Enter the password, NOW!" Shadow ordered, closing the distance between the two of them, her gun aimed at the woman's heart._  
 _"Raven...?" the woman whispered, eyes wide as she studied Shadow's face._  
 _"Whose Raven?" Just as the words left Shadow's mouth, the echoing rebounds of gunshots broke out nearby. "You have 5 seconds to give me the password." She said coldly, wondering what the lady was talking about._  
 _The woman raised her hands in defeat, slowly pushing herself up from the ground. Shadow slammed the gun into the back of her head and roughly pushed her towards the vault._  
 _"You- you don't remember?" The woman's voice faltered in fear. Shadow's presence alone was enough to cause chills and pulsate a foreboding sensation throughout one's body._  
 _"What are you talking about!?" Shadow demanded, pushing the barrel of the gun harder into her target's skull._  
 _"You survived." the woman said in a quiet breath, more to herself than to Shadow, as if she'd realized something incomprehensible. "Your files are here, Raven. I can show them to you!" She fumbled with the lock, hands shaking as beads of sweat rolled down her temple._  
 _Shadow's eyebrows twitched in confusion. 'Where are the files?' is what she didn't ask. "What are you talking about? You don't know me!" She yelled, and pressed the gun even harder to the woman's head._  
 _"I've heard about you. I've read your files! You were-" An explosion went off and cut the woman from saying any more. The opposite wall in the room was crumbling now._  
 _The mission is to get the files within this vault, she thought to herself. That was all._  
 _She was about to tell the woman to enter the password again until she saw that the vault was already opened, and the woman, who was visibly shaking, stood there with her hands raised by her head a sheen of sweat on her forehead. There was a metal box inside the vault, and Shadow grabbed it before anything else could happen. She stared at the woman, wondering if she should press her to reveal more about whatever she was talking about... which all seemed to be about her._  
 _Despite her fearful state, the woman saw the Raven so many had described to her buried deep within the assassin's eyes. "The files. They're in this complex at the-"_  
 _Deafening gunshots rang out and bullets pierced through the woman's body, sending her sprawling on the ground in a bloody, tattered mess of blood and torn flesh. Shadow hesitated for a heartbeat before storming out of the facility, mind buzzing, skull throbbing._  
 _In the midst of thoughts, which were serving as a great distraction, someone tackled her to the in and attempt to get a hold of the metal case she carried. She received a harsh blow to the head before her fist connected with the man's jaw, blood flying from his mouth as his head snapped sideways with a crack. He scowled, red liquid dribbling from his mouth ._  
 _He wouldn't let go._  
 _She punched him again, getting herself two more blows to the head. Black clouds spotted her vision, but she punched the man once more before throwing him off herself. Getting up, she shot the man in the leg and ran towards the woods, where the darkness would shield her better than anything._  
 _Raven._  
 _The name felt familiar. More than familiar. She felt a strong current within her chest. Had the woman known her? She said she'd only hears about her and read her files..._  
 _Her files. They were here. She had to get them. But... her mission was completed; she'd gotten the case and now she had to head back to the assigned extraction point. Uncertainly, her feet took her further into the woods, snow crunching beneath her combat boots. She glanced behind her, wondering if she could head back. No one would ever know. They didn't have to._  
 _Just as the thought occurred to her, a bone-rattling explosion went off, engulfing the complex in masses of hungry flames. The sky was burned red and flames licked at the sky._  
 _"No..." The words slipped from her mouth in an inaudible breath. Her eyebrows knitted together as her grip around the case loosened before tightening again. It was only now she realised how much she'd wanted those files. It was too late, now. It had been her only chance and now it was gone, burnt to crisps._  
 _She stared at the fire-lit sky from her position in the woods, listening to the dying shouts as the inferno grew in strength, eating and eating until nothing was left._  
 _People had known her. She was somebody before coming here. She knew that; she always had. But now, she began to question everything. Her position. Her allies. Her enemies. Herself._  
 _She lost her footing as a series of distorted images flashed across her mind. They were too blurred and fast to make sense of. It made her head pound even more._  
 _Ears ringing from the explosion, she absentmindedly made her way back to the extraction point. Once there, it was clear she was acting out of character; they demanded her to tell them what was wrong. Hesitantly, she told them what she could. She had to. She feared them. So they decided to Wipe her. It was after the third Wipe she chose to no longer tell them that the images always returned, the headaches still came and that she knew her real name, and it was Raven, not 'The Fatal Shadow' or 'The Asset'. She didn't tell them any of this because the agony of getting Wiped more than needed was too much to bear, and she didn't know if any of it was true._  


"After confirming the assassination of Dr. Liam, you will destroy the entire complex. You will have to make do with the weapons and explosives found within the facility's weaponry rooms." The man continued. She'd never bothered to remember the man's name; his voice alone was enough to make her shiver and his eyes spoke all her horrors.  
  
Shadow remained silent. A dull throb began near her waist. She resisted the urge to bring her hand to it; a bullet tore at her flesh not long ago during a mission, and it had been over twenty-four hours until she was able to receive medical treatment.  
  
The Asset looked around the room to see her commander organizing the files, laying them neatly on the desk. He tapped them with his finger, raising his eyebrows. She watched him exit the room, and before the door closed behind him, she heard him address a guard.  
  
"Notify and prepare Asset One of the mission he will be carrying out with Asset Two."


	4. Chapter 4

Purple and orange hues smeared the sky as dusk drew near.  
  
The cold air nipped Shadow's face as she pulled up her mask, which covered both the nose and mouth, to prevent it from biting further. The Winter Soldier stood a few feet opposite her, wearing a mask similar to hers.  
  
Both of them wore black attire so as not to be seen, especially since the first part of their journey would take place in dense woodland among towering evergreen trees. They each had spare bags with necessary equipment; Shadow's contained some ammo with a change of clothes that was, in contrast to what she was presently wearing, all white. This would be necessary for the second part of their journey, which would be to cross a barren snowscape. She assumed that the Winter Soldier had the same equipment in his bag. As for food, there was little, but enough to provide for the journey and back. Shadow didn't have much of an appetite, but perhaps the Winter Soldier would have more of a taste for food than her.  
  
There was no need for anyone to speak; all remembered their task, the route to be taken, and the mission to be carried out. The two assassins separated from their Commander and the six armed guards that flanked him without a word, and soon enough they were out of sight.  
  
They trekked through the white snow silently, stopping in unison whenever the occasional twig snapped or branch broke. Other than the usual noises of the woods, which they still took seriously, there was nothing out of the ordinary.  
  
  
  
Night soon fell upon them like a heavy blanket, yet they continued without a word as shadows crept over the ground. Cold winds snatched at their faces and tried piercing its way through their clothes.  
  
Shadow, unsure of what to think about herself and who she used to be, decided to distract herself with the Winter Soldier instead. She allowed herself to fall a few steps behind.  
  
His strides were cautious yet effortless, and he moved tactically through the snow. His broad shoulders swung smoothly in a wave-like motion with each step. As far as she could see, he was well built and muscular; you had to be in this profession. His hair came a down a little past his defined jaw, which was visible even with his mask on.  
  
Shadow's wound began to throb, but she ignored it. She had been in much more difficult situations, in loads more pain with far worse injuries. The throbbing she felt now wasn't even considered pain.  
  
It was true that she needed to rest and allow her wound to heal further to prevent any permanent damage or possible bleeding, but it was no time and no place to stop now. She may have rested a short while if she was on her own, but that was not the case, and the presence of the Winter Soldier was reason enough to put up with it; there was no benefit in him seeing her weak or vulnerable.  
  
For the mission to be carried out efficiently, they needed to know they could rely on one another to carry out their task.  
  
  
Darkness had long since swallowed them, and neither had uttered a single word. Neither had any intention of stopping, either, unless a situation called for it.  
  
The throbbing of Shadow's wound increased over time with each weighing step. Soon, the pounding had spread through her whole body. In attempt to distract herself, she began wondering about the images - or memories - that had flashed through her mind not long ago, but, they were all still a pile of scattered images, torn and shredded like paper.  
  
 _Raven._  
  
The name flowed into her thoughts for the thousandth time. Was it her name? She thought so, especially since it seemed oddly familiar. She didn't know what to make of it. The confusion that came with something being so foreign and so familiar at the same time made her head ache mercilessly. Her skull felt right about ready to split. She stumbled in the snow, clutching her waist whilst bringing her other hand to her sweat-beaded temple.  
  
  
  
The Winter Soldier stopped in his tracks, turning back to see that his companion was considerably behind. He spotted her hunched figure, noticing how her arms were wrapped tightly around her waist. He had sensed something was wrong, but had dismissed it, not interested in what may have been the problem, so long as it did not hinder their progress.  
  
It was obvious now that it would.  
  
He observed her attempts to move forward with unbalanced steps. It was best to go back to her, he decided, since it would be awhile until she would catch up to him, by the looks of things. As he neared her, the sign of her clenched jaw came into view, as well as the beads of sweat that spotted her face.  
  
Shadow felt the extra presence. She straightened as much as she could, unable to hold back a pained wince as her thick eyebrows knitted together. The Winter Soldier did not speak, and it was only logical of her to assume that he wanted to know what was wrong so they could move on.  
  
"It's nothing. I just need to rest a bit." She was out of breath as she rested her hand against the trunk of a fern tree, her curled lashes catching the pearls of sweat which rolled down past her damp brows.  
  
The Winter Soldier watched as she steadily slid against the bark onto the snow. With her head laid back and eyes closed, he was able to take his first good look at her, having always been on the move before with no time to observe the other, not that he was ever interested.  
  
She was smaller than him in both height and size, but current position and the attire she wore made is difficult to see her true figure. Despite this, he knew she was well built by knowledge, not sight. They'd probably beaten her into shape like they had to him. Surely, the pain from her wound and moonlight reflecting off the snow contributed to her ghostly complexion, framed by ebony hair which came a little way past her shoulders.  
  
The Winter Soldier surveyed his surroundings, then returned his focus to the female assassin before him, whose breathing had since evened and face showed no sign of serious discomfort.  
  
He was staring off into the distance, seemingly distracted but in fact highly alert, when he heard the female soldier rise to her feet, visibly in a much better state than before. She picked up her bag and looked at him, signaling that they should continue.  
  
The Winter Soldier took notice of her eyes, which seemed to be as dark as the bottomless shadows surrounding them. The contrast between her features was truly striking. Despite her weak state moment ago, he did not see her as incapable or feeble. Not in the least.  
  
With a slight nod of his head, he continued on the path they would have passed quite a while ago if it weren't for Shadow's need to rest.


	5. Chapter 5

Two highly trained assassins trudged through the snow, a couple of feet apart but in the same line.

Shadow's state had improved since her short rest by the tree, however, her wound still throbbed mercilessly. It was several hours later until they decided to stop and rest.

The Winter Soldier laid his bag against the foot of a tree, and Shadow chose a nearby tree for herself. If the two of them were to lay down and stretch to their fullest, their length combined would equal the distance between them.

Shadow, thankful for an opportunity to rest, sat at the base of a tree. She set her bag aside and began to unfasten some of her gear so she would be able to raise her shirt to look at the wound. She frowned at what she saw; her wound was healed enough, but even in the dark it was obvious that it was red and inflamed from all the stress of walking.

Taking a handful of powdery snow, she gently pressed it against the swollen wound, inhaling a sharp breath from the freezing contact. A few moments passed and her body eased, each muscle loosening with numbness. She laid her head back, letting out a silent breath of relief as the pain subsided with the decreased throbbing.

The Winter Soldier watched her wince as she placed the snow on the inflamed skin. Even in the dark, he could tell it was pretty bad, but overall it was nothing. She had held up rather well despite the look of the wound and the distance they had traveled. There were no medical supplies in his bag so he assumed, rather knew, that there weren't any in her's, either.

Darkness still reigned, and the faint glow of the moon did little for sight. The trees were generous enough to allow small slivers of milky light to creep through, and one of them formed an illuminated crescent on Shadow's pale face, making her look like a ghost. Shadow's contrasted features certainly caught the attention of the Winter Soldier, who thought them to be not only striking and intimidating but beautiful as well. The female soldier opened her dark eyes and glued them on the Winter Soldier, who stood by his bag looking at her.

"I'll keep the second watch?" She said, voice questioning instead of stating. Her head was buzzing endlessly again. The Winter Soldier gave a nod of his head and left to scout the area. He wouldn't go too far. While he was away, Shadow opened her bag and drank more water, having taken continuous sips throughout the journey thus far.

"What do they call you?"

She stiffened from the voice, about to swiftly grab her gun if she'd not registered it was the Winter Soldier. His figure was barely distinguishable, but as he came closer, she was able to make out more of his features, especially since her eyes had adjusted to the dark. She looked down at her flask, then back up to him.

"The Fatal Shadow. Asset Two." She replied in a monotone. There was a short pause before he replied in a gruff tone.

"The Winter Soldier. Asset One."

A gleam of light caught her eye, and the Winter Soldier's hand was the source. She tilted her head to see that his left hand was... Metal. She raised her eyebrows slightly and looked up to meet his blank eyes. She knew he wouldn't answer. He probably didn't have an answer, she thought to herself.

"How'd you end up here?" He asked.

She was a bit surprised by his choice to speak, let alone his questions, but she was glad that there was a chance to distract herself with something other than her past, or lack thereof.

"I don't really remember." She answered. "But-" She stopped herself, biting back her tongue. She wasn't going to tell him the information she'd discovered about herself; he would surely tell the Commander.

"But what?" He insisted, pushing her to say more.

She was surprised by his tone of voice; almost pleading. Hopeful? She didn't know how to describe it. She shook her head.

"Nothing. My head hurts." She replied.

"Why?" He inquired. It was odd thing to ask, really, because it didn't matter. Why was he questioning her?

"Got a few blows to the head a few weeks back. I still haven't recovered." She said shortly, recoiling and building the cold wall to keep intruders from prying into her mind. It wasn't a complete lie. The part regarding her recovery was rather questionable, considering the accelerated healing both soldiers had. It didn't matter. He could do nothing about it, and nor could she.

The Winter Soldier didn't say anything after that, but Shadow could've sworn he almost seemed disappointed. She shrugged it off and decided to get some rest.

Re-applying some fresh snow to her wound, she did her best to ignore the dull ache in her head. She curled up against the tree and closed her eyes, only to see pulsing crimson.


	6. Chapter 6

_"Raven!" A woman's voice echoed in the distance._  
  
_"Raven!" Louder this time. Nearer._  
  
_"RAVEN!" The voice screamed. There was an explosion of deep red and flaming orange. Then a black hole swallowed it all up and there as nothing but deafening silence._  
  
_"Raven. Raven." Her body shivered. The now male voice called her name as if he were looking for his lost pet. The unknown source laughed eerily. Even though she couldn't see herself, she felt something claw at her, like hundreds of hands were grabbing her from behind, pulling and scratching and viciously dragging her away. Her voice had run away from fear and her heart screamed desperately._  
  
_"RAVEN!" The voice bellowed, demanding and dangerous. "SHADOW!" It wasn't just one or two people anymore. It seemed like thousands. The two names were repeated endlessly in the black void and soon, images of blood and dead bodies raced through her mind. She was drowning in the horror of it all. The horror that was created by her own hands._  
 _"WATCH OUT!"_

 

Shadow jolted awake with sudden force, gasping for air as if she were choking. Eyes wide with fear, they were set straight ahead, unblinking and overflowing with something much more than fear. The palms of hands were moist and her forehead damp with sweat. A shiver bolted down her spine as she placed a hand over her racing heart to make sure it wouldn't burst out of her chest.  
  
The cold night breeze gently swayed the trees as she blinked countless times, trying to rid of the now off-colored images and trying to make sense of her dream; it was to no avail.  
  
Sitting there, body rigid and taking deep breaths, was then she realized that the Winter Soldier was kneeling beside her. She flinched away in surprise, inhaling sharply. The two started into each others' eyes for who knows how long until the male broke the silence.  
  
"Your shift."  
  
It took a moment for her to process his words before nodding. Steadily rising from her position on the ground, the Winter Soldier rose as well, and after a brief glance, turned back to lay against his bag by the tree to get some rest.  
  
_The Winter Soldier watched as the Fatal Shadow twitched uncomfortably in her sleep. Ever since she'd closed her eyes, her forehead was creased with a slight frown, and it was a while until her frown deepened. He stood and watched as beads of sweat formed on her forehead, her brows knitted together tightly with eyes squeezing shut forcefully every now and then as she winced._  
  
_There wasn't much he could do, but he had a pretty good idea what she was experiencing._  
  
_A while passed, and the sweat on her forehead had increased despite the cold air. He decided it was best to wake her up, using the end of his night-watch as an excuse._  
  
_He knelt beside her, feeling the fear emanating from her body, and slightly nudged her shoulder. She jolted awake, eyes flying open with mouth agape and gasping for air. Hands shaking, she placed one over her heart. She suddenly noticed him kneeling beside her, making her flinch in surprise. Her dark eyes bore into his, and the male soldier wasn't able to tear his eyes away from her's; they truly were captivating. Eventually, he managed to speak._  
  
_"Your shift," he said in a gruff voice, and once she stood, he left to rest himself._  
  
He knew an unpleasant night awaited him, just like Shadow's, but it was inevitable. Through the corner of his eye, he watched as the soldier stared off into the distance, an arm supporting her against a tree. She didn't seem to be capable of keeping watch in her startled,  dazed state, but he needed to rest himself and there didn't seem to be any threats around here, anyway. However, that didn't mean there weren't any.  
  
The Winter Soldier decided to leave it be, and making sure his guns were strapped securely in his belt along with his dagger, he waited until sleep found him. The last thing he heard was Shadow's shaky breath in the still night air.  
  
He couldn't get the image of Shadow's eyes out of his head. Those dark eyes bled into in the murky depths of his mind, appearing on the nameless faced that haunted his shredded memories.


	7. Chapter 7

The silence of the woods and fresh cool air was pleasant to the two soldiers. It welcomed a peace little known to both of them; a relief neither was accustomed to. So when the Winter Soldier opened his eyes that morning, the first thing he did was take a deep breath of crisp morning air to refresh his lungs. His body felt lighter; there was less weight to carry, and all because of a single breath.  
  
He swept his eyes around the area and saw the Fatal Shadow standing a few feet away, facing the direction in which the sun was rising. She inhaled a deep breath, keeping it in with eyes closed. His heart beat five times until she slowly exhaled, her breath coming out in white puffs of air, disappearing after like a ghost.  
  
She was supposed to have woken him once more so they could change watch; two shifts each. However, he decided not to argue; he understood if she didn't want to sleep again, but he was worried she may grow tired and they would not be able to efficiently progress on their mission, especially since they were already behind.  
  
The Winter Soldier rose from his position, stretching his stiff body; the cold hadn't done his muscles any good. The joints popped and cracked, slowly loosening as he stretched his limbs. He felt the female assassin's eyes on him, and when he looked up, she didn't look away. Her dark eyes pierced into his, and he held her gaze until she broke the silence. "Do you ever feel like you were someone else?" Her voice was slightly muffled by her mask, and she had said the words quietly enough not to disturb the peace yet loud enough for him to hear. It was clear that she was hesitant of her words.

  
The Winter Soldier stood there, his eyes fixed on her face. She had voiced what he'd been thinking for quite some time, now. At first, he could do nothing but remain silent, eyes unblinking in surprise. The way she looked at him made him uncomfortable; like she knew what he was thinking. Knew all that he refused to tell. Perhaps this was a test, he thought. A test by the Commander to see if he remembered anything. He must've asked Shadow to ask and report with his answer later. That, however, was what he _thought_ , not what he _felt_. A tiny flow of troubled hope swirled in his stomach; perhaps she could understand. She could help him.  
  
No.  
  
He couldn't trust her.  
  
But he wanted to so badly; he was on the verge of exploding from keeping it all in.  
  
  
Slinging his bag over his shoulder, he moved past her without a word. His mind scolded him as his feet tried to hold him back, but he didn't look at her again, as much as he wanted to.  
  
He left her standing there, looking down at the snow, wondering if she'd made a huge mistake.  
  
  
She pressed the palm of her hand to her throbbing temple and followed him.  
  
  
  
Their mission had not progressed as planned, and the cold had finally stiffened their muscles. There was no other choice but to quicken the pace at which they were traveling. The Winter Soldier began a light jog, so Shadow followed his league and kept up a few steps behind him.  
  
Hours passed, neither of them slowed down. What were you to expect from two enhanced super soldiers who were trained to kill and survive harsh conditions? Both assassins were physically fit, not mentally, and let's not forget that mental strength, or lack thereof, affects everything else.  
Shadow's wound finally woke, and when it did, it was not happy. It throbbed and throbbed like a crying child and would refuse to rest unless it was paid attention to. Her head, much like the wound's sibling, copied the cries of pain. Focusing had become difficult and she tried in vain to ignore the pressure in her skull, continuing at a brisk pace; they could not afford to lose more time. She slowed down and came to a stop, hasteningly digging under her clothes to pull up her shirt. The wound was more inflamed than it had been the previous night, and the pulses of blood underneath her skin were visible as they flashed red repeatedly. She took a deep breath and applied some snow, stiffening from the contact, then easing with relief. Now that the distraction of the wound was gone, all her attention was shifted to her pounding skull.  
  
_"Raven, NO!"_ The voice was clear and muffled at the same time, she whipped her head around in shock, eyes wide as saucers. She knew this couldn't be real. It was in her mind. It was _all_ in her mind. Shaking her head furiously, as a dog would after getting wet, she ran until the black figure of the Winter Soldier came into view, when she neared, she slowed down, unaware of how hard she was breathing and the worried look in the Winter Soldier's eyes.  
  
The Winter Soldier had sensed her absence, and when he turned to look back, his assumption was confirmed. Finding it illogical to go back, he slowed to a walk until she caught up; he figured her wound had flared up again. When she came into view, it was nothing he had expected. She was running as if someone were chasing her, and her eyes were a mixture of panic and fear. The assassin's chest was heaving, and he knew not what came over him that made him lay his metal hand on her back and lead her to lean against a tree. She lay a hand against her chest and the other against the fern's trunk. She didn't know where to look and it took some time for her eyes to settle on one thing; the Winter Soldier's chest. The Winter Soldier watched helplessly as she stared vacantly at the crest of his jacket, trying to slow her breathes. He pulled down his mask, trying to make sense of what was going on. Every now and then her head would twitch as if she'd heard something, but she'd clench her jaw and force herself to look at one thing only.  
  
"I do." the Winter Soldier suddenly said, only realizing he had spoken after the words slipped from his mouth. It was the first time Shadow had heard him speak without the mask over his mouth. His voice was gravely and smooth at the same time. She wasn't expecting him to speak, so her eyes shot up at him in surprise, wanting him to speak again.  
  
He gazed into her eyes, seeing the panic jumping around in them calm down. She stared at him, eyes unblinking, processing what he'd just said. Unsure of what else to do, she gave a mere nod of her head. She continued looking into his eyes, noticing that they were a beautiful mixture of green and blue. He had a square jaw with scruffy facial hair, soft pink lips and a defined nose which seemed a little _too_ symmetrical. She saw something deep within his big eyes. Something she knew was similar to what she felt.  
  
The Winter soldier stood unmoving as his companion calmed down considerably. He, too, felt some relief after his admittance. She pulled her mask down for the first time in the light, and he was able to study her features.

  
She had smooth, pink lips and a small, button nose. Her face was a cross between heart-shaped and round-shaped with a strong, yet soft jawline. This was the longest either of them had looked at one another, and in the light, the contrasted features of Shadow's dark hair and eyes with pale skin was breath-taking, and it was enhanced by the white landscape of snow that surrounded them for endless miles.

Neither of them could say anything after that. They wouldn't in fear that it was all a test. They had a right to suspect everything was a lie or a trap of some sort. So they walked on, some of the tension eased and others raised, without one word passing their lips.


	8. Chapter 8

__The complex was not by any means huge compared to previous buildings they had raided. It was of moderate size and pearl white in color, blending quite well in the snowscape and making it a challenge to see from a bird's eye view. It didn't have a particular shape, however, the base resembled a hexagon and it branched out in different sections. According to the information given to them by the Commander and the files, the place was heavily guarded twenty-four hours a day; even guards changing shifts were monitored. This was going to be challenging, but it was something the soldiers were trained to do. They were smart enough to figure it out.  
  
The air was cold but it did not bite. The sky had been patching up with gray clouds since that morning, signaling possible snowfall. It was clear, however, that the weather was no discomfort for the two assassins. Not yet.  
  
The Winter Soldier and the Fatal Shadow had changed into their white attire and had traveled a full day and night until they neared the facility, where they stayed and surveyed the area until dusk. The sun had now set and the last hues of purple and orange blended into the darkness that took over the once bright sky.

_"When they change shifts, we'll blind the cameras with the infrared lasers and LED lights until we can temporarily disable them. so it only seems like a technical glitch in their system. Once inside, use the frequency-jammer to disrupt the cameras' signals. By then, you should have made it down hall B3. I'll be in Hall A2. The guards have already been alerted by then, and a code red is most likely already announced. The file room is in the underground floor -G1. The closest weaponry room to you will be in hall B2. You should have already made your way there before the guards see you. Once in, grab all the weapons and ammunition you need. I would have found the files by then and headed to the nearest weaponry room." All of this came from the Winter Soldier's mouth smoothly and clearly well thought out. His voice was a bit gruff, but had a certain smoothness to it; like a steady stream flowing over smooth pebbles. He paused, seemingly distracted by his own thoughts. Shadow took his silence as the end of the plan. "What is the point of me going into the facility at all?" She asked. "There is no point in what I'm doing. It would be more logical and efficient if I accompanied you to the file room. And what about the target?" She said. The Winter Soldier blinked, then gave a brief shake of his head. "I wasn't finished. After you terminate the target you'll be creating a diversion on the west end of the complex. Gather as many explosives as you can; we have to destroy the place after we escape." He said. The Winter Solider stared at her, awaiting her confirmation. She gave a nod of her head. "Right.' She said. She looked towards the complex again and felt the Winter Soldier's eyes on her for a few moments longer before he, too, looked away._

  
Shadow reached the weaponry room, successfully having jammed the surveillance cameras and avoided the guards as planned. The door to the room was locked, as the files had said, and required an ID scan. She smoothly slid the fake ID card from her waist belt and scanned it across the sensor. The Commander had them made for her and the Winter Soldier. _How_ they had exactly done wasn't clear to her, but she knew that is was not beyond their capabilities. Not beyond their capabilities at all. The scanner flashed green, and the metal door clicked and slid open.   
A blue light lit the room, and Shadow's eyebrows rose at what she saw. Sleek, upgraded weapons with a sophistication that made them look as dangerous as they were. The corner of her mouth tugged upwards as she ran her hands over the handle of a machine gun. Setting to work, she grabbed as many of the small, round explosives as she could and grabbed two rifles, fastening them to her waist belt, a machine gun, slinging it over her shoulder, and a rod-like taser which she held in one hand with her own gun in the other. She peeked out the door, gun aimed and ready to fire, before heading further into the west end.   
Flashing red lights began to illuminate the halls and a loud alarm broke out, making Shadow wince. The red lights reminded her of the blood in her dreams.  
"CODE RED. IMPOSTERS. INITIATING LOCK-DOWN SEQUENCE. CODE RED. IMPOSTERS. INITIATING LOCK-DOWN SEQUENCE." The voice kept repeating in a monotone, blaring loudly as it receded in the hallways.  
Shadow crossed the hall, shooting at the first guards that appeared. She prepared her explosives and set the timer to twenty-five minutes. It shouldn't take that much longer to set the rest of the explosives and get to the east end of the complex. Placing more explosives in rooms and hallways, she finally finished. Eleven minutes was all that was left. The guards were pouring in now. Whipping out her machine gun, she started firing at them, sending bullets digging into their flesh as they fell to the ground, creating red pools of blood on the once spotless marble floors. A woman punched her in the face and kicked her behind the knees. Shadow grabbed the woman's fist as it connected with her jaw and spun her around, whipping her in the air as the sound of her arm breaking reached her ears. The woman howled in pain as Shadow snapped her other arm. She swiftly killed the last guards in the hallway and began to run down the halls before more could appear. She saw a mass of guards running down the opposite end, armed and wielding riot shields.  
They must have been escorting Doctor Aria Liam to a safer location.  
  
What they didn't know was that there was no such thing as "safe" when the Fatal Shadow was around.  
  
Shadow shot a bullet through a guard's chest, grabbing his riot shield as she ran down the hall. The "escorts" started shooting at her immediately. She strode towards them, shield protecting her body, and when they got the message that this would be a lot more difficult than they thought, they began shooting _and_ moving. She grabbed a taser chip from her pocket and strategically threw it at the three center guards whom shields she had grabbed and tossed away. The chip separated into three parts, each landing on one guard's chest. They screeched as they lost control of their bodies, fidgeting and writhing as they fell to the floor, the electric currents paralyzing them. As soon as there was an opening, Shadow whipped out her gun and fired, landing expertly aimed bullets in there hearts, chests, and heads.  
There she was.  
Doctor Aria Liam, in a white lab coat, black hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, her hair sticking out in random areas. She had a thin frame, and she cowered in fear as the sight of Shadow. Her face was drained of blood. "Plea-"  
Shadow trained her gun at her, firing a bullet at her stomach. The doctor looked down, eyes wide as she fell to the floor, skin pale as snow. Her body convulsed and blood spewed from her mouth as she coughed.  
Shadow shot a bullet in her head, putting an end to her misery. She licked her lips; she often didn't remember the details of these moments. Only that there was blood shed by her hands. But her unconscious mind made sure she remembered.  
  
The Winter Solider was supposed to be out by now. Sure that he was still in the files room, she decided to head there even though it was not part of the plan and it was quite risky. If he wasn't there, she might have a chance of searching for her own files. She made her way to floor -G1, and holding the gun ready, opened the door to the files room only to meet the gun of the Winter Soldier pointed at her. He was in front of an open drawer with rows of sorted files and documents. There were a few papers on the table beside him.   
"What are you doing?" She asked, shocked. Both of them held their guns aimed at one another. The Winter Solider continued glaring at her, his eyes menacing, finger ready to pull the trigger at a moment's notice. Shadow's eyes moved to the documents on the desk and the open drawer of files. She tried to put the pieces together as best she could. Changing her stance, she slowly lowered the gun and put it back in her waist belt. Hanging the taser in her belt as well, she opened her hands to reveal them empty. The Winter Soldier's eyes flickered with confusion, but he kept the gun aimed at her. Sure, she was still armed - machine guns, tasers, rifles, explosives - but she did not wield them. She slowly moved forward, keeping her hands open and visible to the Winter Soldier, who made the gun follow her every move. She looked at the papers on the desk, glancing at the Winter Soldier before reading it.  
'James Buchanan Barnes. Classified.' It read on the first page in black, bold letters, except for 'Classified', which was stamped in red.  
She glanced at the Soldier, his eyes scanning her's, the gun still pointed at her. "These are your files." She whispered.  
Realization hit her.   
"You're not going back." She stated, more to herself than to the Soldier.   
His gun clicked.   
She looked at the files again, then back at him. "We have six minutes to get out of here."  
The Winter Soldier looked startled. "I'm going with you." She said firmly. The Winter Soldier clenched his jaw, hesitant. "We have to leave. Now." She said, urgency hugging her voice. The Winter Soldier's hand faltered as he lowered his gun, grabbing the files and closing the drawer. "Your files." He said, voice slightly questioning. Her eyes widened a bit. There wasn't enough time, but she had to try. She located "R" and opened the drawer, fingers flying through files and folders, searching for her name. She couldn't find her name in "Ra", so she looked everywhere. Relinda Thompson, [River](https://www.quotev.com/story/7624714/Ghost) [Rellicks](https://www.quotev.com/CayCay14/journal/3039698/MARVEL-OC), Rowena Falorn... but no 'Raven'. What if the woman had been lying? What if she'd only said that to save her own life? No. Shadow knew her name was Raven. She felt it. She scanned the files again. "It's not here." She said quickly, disappointment evident in her tone. "Let's go." She didn't wait to see the Winter Soldier's expression as she headed out the door, making sure the coast was clear. The Winter Soldier felt bad for her, but he grabbed his files, keeping them close as if it were his lifeline, and headed out the door. She handed him a machine gun and took out her rifle and taser. They made their way up and across most of the hallways without many attackers.  
They were a bit late.  
The explosions went off, and they could see the fire racing towards them. Both of them broke out into a run, winding through halls as they made their way for the exit. The fire chased them like a hungry beast, devouring everything in its way. It licked them from behind, but nothing caught fire, thankfully. Guards rushed out, some surprised to see them and others ready to shoot. The two assassins took them out quickly, working together to block and take out the guards and soldiers. The exit came into view, but it was closing quickly. The two ran even faster, but the doors shut before they could reach it. The Winter Soldier looked behind them as Shadow set two explosives by the door. They took cover behind a corner and were glad to see the door destroyed. They had both expected them to be more heavy-duty, but they weren't complaining. Rushing outside, most of the guards had gone to the west end where the explosion had taken place, so there weren't many to take down. Throwing three more explosives set for ten minutes through the blown door, Shadow and the Winter Soldier sprinted through the snow into the woods once again, leaving the mass array of fire and smoke behind them. Shadow glanced behind her at the complex engulfed in flames, wondering that if her files really had been there, they were gone... again. Once they were a good way away from the destruction, they slowed down. They could still see the black mass of smoke eating away at the sky. She looked at the Winter Soldier and frowned.  
  
He was holding a gun pointed directly at her.   
  


 


	9. Chapter 9

Their eyes bore into one another. The Winter Soldier cocked his gun. Shadow had to prove that this wasn't some set-up or trick from HYDRA. He needed to know she was as desperate as he was to remember who she was and what she did. She began in the way she thought was best.  
  
"My name is Raven." She said quietly. "On a recent mission, I encountered a woman who had recognized me. She said my files were in the building but the complex blew up before I could get a chance to go back.” She clenched her jaw and forced herself to speak. To look him in the eyes. She wasn't one for talking. Especially when it was about something as secret as this. “There were these flashes of light and... these images which I couldn't make out. It was all blurry and fast and every time I think about it my head pounds and it gets harder to see the images," She explained, her tone becoming feverish as her voice quivered. All she had been keeping in spilled out of her mouth like water on asphalt. "I hear these voices calling out my name, my _real_ name, and I can't make out what I'm seeing and I don't know why my files weren't in this facility, but I know my name is Raven, I... feel it, and I don't want to go back because I'm beginning to doubt everything... everything." She trailed off, whispering the last word. She looked at the Winter Soldier rather desperately.  
  
He watched her intently, then very slowly lowered his gun.  
  
He raised the files in his hand. They were burnt. Most of it, that is. Shadow glanced up at him then back at the files. He didn't open it. Perhaps he had already read them in the complex. he wasn't ready to see who he had really been, Shadow thought. Perhaps he wasn't prepared to see the truth. She knew now from personal experience that the truth could be much more horrifying than the reality one had been living in. A reality made up entirely of lies. She swallowed as she watched him. His eyes locked on the files before him. He didn't move, but his body was alert and prepared to react. He didn't know what the files contained. But he remembered a lot about his past life. He remembered in those rare moments when he went to sleep, not to cryo-freeze. They would rush into his mind suddenly with no reason. He would do or see something that would feel so familiar that he would suddenly see an alternate version of himself in an alternate setting, doing something similar yet entirely different. But these files... they held answers. It would tell him the truth. The reality. He knew for a fact that he was dying to know, yet he was so uncertain of what his past held for him. From what he could make out from his scattered memories, he was some sort of soldier. He worked for the military. He had friends. A best friend. He knew these things yet it was so difficult to make out specific details. Like what these friends looked like. People's faces were hazy and stained with black ink. Distorted and unclear. For Shadow, it was a similar case, except as opposed to Shadow's memories, where the images of people's faces were torn apart, shredded to pieces and stained with dark colors, his were smudged and out of focus.

The Winter Soldier raised his eyes to Shadow, who had kept her eyes on him, prepared to defend herself if he chose to attack.  
  
  
  
She wasn't sure she had made the right choice. She knew she hadn't made the right decision by telling the Winter Soldier all that she had. He could have very well been on this mission along with her for the sole purpose of testing whether or not she still remembered. But... she it didn't seem like a test.   
She scolded herself for thinking like that.   
Her stomach churned in punishment for letting her guard down. She knew that he was smart enough to know that she would realize if he took the same route back to base, and would therefore take a different path so she wouldn't become suspicious.  
  
It was his eyes.  
  
His eyes spoke so much to her. They didn't seem like they were lying or playing tricks. They seemed genuine. Desperate. She'd seen emotion. Something she was foreign to seeing and feeling. If all this was _real_ and not a test, then he truly was prepared to kill her when he trained his gun at her chest. He was prepared to pull the trigger at a moment's notice. She knew that. She also knew that he didn't believe her entirely. That much was obvious. She wouldn't have trusted him, either. She didn't trust anyone. That's how she was trained and she was certain that is what they engraved in the Winter Soldier's mind as well, like writing on stone; _don't trust anyone_. Shadow couldn't even trust herself now. She didn't even know who _she_ was. All she knew was that she was an assassin. An asset following orders from people she knew generally very little about. She knew they were trying to save the world. Give it freedom. She was only ever told what she needed to know; her mission and who her Commander was. Who she was to protect at all costs and who she was to kill on sight. She was to follow orders and carry out her mission objectives, without question, efficiently and thoroughly. She was helping make the world a better place. Shaping the future. She never questioned any of that. She never could. She was never _allowed_. They said she volunteered. That they saved her life. She never really believed any of it, but she could not prove them otherwise; she had nothing to contradict them with. She didn't even remember her name. She didn't remember anything. A number was assigned to her at first, but she was always referred to as _The Asset_ or _The Fatal Shadow_. Usually, she was never addressed directly. She always knew when someone was talking to her. There was no need to call her by anything. What they called her was mainly used to reference her. She was trained, manipulated, tortured and punished in every way possible. Whatever world she had known was nothing now. It was falling apart with the crumbling wall that had been suppressing all her memories. Hiding them from her. She didn't care if the memories of her past were more terrible than right now. She wanted to know the truth. It scared her, but she still wanted to know. She wanted that much.   
But doubt had never bitten her so hard. It gnawed at the back of her head like a restless beast. HYDRA gave her meaning. It gave her purpose. They saved her life and how was she repaying them? By turning her backs on them. By running away. How could she betray the people who had given her all she has ever known? She was loyal to HYDRA. But it was deeper than that. So much more. They never gave straight answers to her questions. She was punished for ever doubting them or the missions they gave her to carry out. They evaded everything that mattered to her until the only thing she grew to care about was her mission. That's what they wanted, and that's what she became. She was their tool. Their weapon. The gun of HYDRA. She was to eliminate their targets like any good weapon would. But how could she know they were lying? What she sees, what she _feels_ , that she believes to be her past, how could she know those are real? How come she considers them to be the truth and the reality that she lives in now to be a lie? Can her desperation of not wanting to accept this reality, her thirst for a different life, really make her so skeptical of the people she had helped till as far as she could remember?   
She was never like this before. She never felt anything. She never cared. But those voices. Those images. Those _memories_. They knocked something over in her. Broke it into thousands of pieces that she was struggling to put back together. The shards would cut into her skin whenever she tried to pick one up and when she tried to piece them together they would crumble until nothing but dust was left. Her chest felt like it was being squeezed from the inside. Crushed by a ton of rocks.   
She didn't want this. She'd made the wrong decision.  
  
  
  
"Where do we go?" He asked, voice gravelly from lack of use. There was nowhere to go. Only away from HYDRA. And they both knew for a fact that HYDRA was everywhere. Shadow swallowed again before replying. "I don't know."

 


	10. Chapter 10

Two days had passed.

One more day and they would've been expected to have reached base.

Two more days and suspicions would grow.

Three more days and they would be looking for them.

They had less than two days to figure out where to go. Less than two days to create a plan to keep HYDRA off their tails for a little while longer.

  
  


They had no intercom or radio on them; they were clean of any electronic devices when they set off on their mission in an assumption that the complex they were sent to raid would be able to detect them on radar.

_Dr. Aria Liam. Level 2. Does not pose a threat. Kill on sight. Biomedical engineer possessing knowledge regarding the mutation and enhancement of cells. Refused offer to join HYDRA. Accompanied by a minimum of four guards at all times._

The information she had read before leaving on the mission rolled through her mind like a record-tape.

_Complex BEMEC. Two above-ground levels, 2 underground levels. -G1 contains required files. Dr. Aria Liam is often found on the G1 and G2 floors..._

  
  


The Winter Soldier was staring at her. She looked at him blankly. “What?”

“What did you say?” He repeated.

“What?”

“You said something.”

“I did?”

He stared at her, narrowing his eyes. “Yeah, never mind.”

She frowned as he watched him continue walking again.

  
The snow crunched softly beneath their boots, and every breath was exhaled in a cloud of white.

“What made you remember?” She asked, desperate to think of something else. She saw his jaw clench as he went deep in thought.

“I don't know.”

“Are you sure?”

He looked at her, then swallowed.

“It was a training mission; the objective was to reach the extraction point. I had to make a leap across a cliff...” He trailed off, frowning as he stared off into the distance. “I remembered something... I felt like I was falling.”

Shadow watched him, hoping he would say more.

“I heard someone call my name.”

She waited.

“'Bucky', is what he'd called me.”

Bucky. James Buchanan Barnes. It was his nickname.

“Who was _he_?” She asked.

His jaw clenched again and his forehead creased. He shook his head. “I'm not sure.”

Shadow decided to drop it at that.

A short while passed before the silence was broken again.

“What about you?” He said, glancing at her before staring ahead again.

“I already told you.”

“Not everything.”

“Nor did you.”

“Tell me again, then.”

Shadow took a breath. “A woman said she recognized me from documents and stories. Said my files were in the building. The complex blew up before I could get a chance to go back.”

He didn't reply, only gave a brief nod of his head in acknowledgment.

  
"Where are we going?" She asked,  
"How am I supposed to know?"  
"Well, we can't just... walk around aimlessly."  
"We have no other option." He retorted, although he trailed off at the last word and took in his surroundings.  
At the same time, they both looked around and began to calculate the location of the complex, the direction they were traveling, the mountains that surrounded them, the direction of the wind, and the density of the trees. They had been too distracted to have done so earlier.  
"Actually, we do have a destination." She said. The Winter Soldier nodded his head, observing his surroundings and reaching the same conclusion as her.  
They both changed their direction by forty-five degrees and headed north-east.  
  
  
  
The outline of the city had come in sight, but they had less than twenty-four hours before HYDRA came looking for them. For all they knew, they could have already sent a search party. There was no time to waste. The slope was steep, but it did not prove a challenge to the two of them. They were trained for this, after all. They were trained for far worse. They couldn't do much to cover their tracks, and they put their faith in the seemingly coming snowfall to cover it for them from the eyes of their predators.  
When they reached the outskirts of the town, they kept near the walls and avoided any open areas. At first, the town seemed abandoned; a ghost town, to say the least. But as they headed further in, a few people were seen here and there, covered in many layers of warm clothes from head to toe, going in and out of stores and pulling their scarves up over their noses. The two assassin's benefited from the cold weather; they had an excuse to wear their masks so as not to expose their whole face. They kept an eye out for any sign of movement, danger, or anything, really; surveying their surroundings and watching the few people they came across closely yet discretely.  
They Winter Soldier had his hands in the pockets of his jacket, where he hid a dagger, and Shadow had her arms hanging by her sides, visibly relaxed but in fact prepared to whip out her gun - hidden under her clothes - and to attack or defend at a moment's notice.  
The entire town was gray with Winter, and stone pavements had never looked so cold. The buildings looked like ominous shadows, and save for the light wind, all was silent. One would have expected a ghost to appear appear through one of the walls.  
A rusty pole stuck out of a building, a layer of snow resting on top, with a just-as-rusty sign hanging from it, creaking as it swayed back and forth from the wind.  
'CHEAP MOTEL' was engraved into the plate.  
The Winter Soldier and Shadow exchanged a glance before looking up at the sign again.  
"I don't have any money." She said simply.  
"Me neither."  
A woman hurriedly pushed open the door from inside the motel, hauling a huge suitcase behind her as her scarf blew in her face. The wheels of her luggage bag caught in the frame of the doorway, and she huffed as she fruitlessly tried to pull it out. Shadow went over to her and smoothly raised the end of the bag, releasing it from the hinge. The woman bent over and the Winter Soldier brushed passed her as he moved out of the way.  
"Thanks." The woman said, not even paying them a single glance as she pulled her suitcase behind her and rushed off down the pavement.  
The Winter Soldier stood beside Shadow.  
"Did you get it?" She asked, watching as the figure of the woman disappeared.  
"Yeah." He said, and opened his hand to reveal the wallet he had stolen from the woman's pocket.  
He opened it, and there was a fair amount of money inside. Luckily for the woman, her ID and passport were in her handbag and not her wallet.  
They passed the motel and walked around in search of a store. Barely a block down the street, there was a wide window with a faded sign plastered over it.  
'Gray and Son's' was written in red with yellow outlines, but the 'r' was barely visible and the first 's' was reaching the same fate.  
The Winter Soldier pushed the door open with his gloved hand, the other still in his pocket, and a tiny bell signaled their arrival.  
A man sat behind a counter, looking so frail and skinny he mind as well have been the definition of a skeleton. His face was conquered by wrinkles and not a patch of skin had been spared. His chin was resting on his chest, his head nodding as he dozed in an uncomfortable position on a plastic chair. Shadow was surprised to see that he still had some patches of snow white hair left on his balding head. What surprised her more was that he had a beard all the way down to his stomach, only a few strands of silver in the frayed white.  
The two of them walked down one of the four, narrow aisles. The shelves were not packed, but they were full enough that one would think the town would have more people than it seemed. It probably did. Besides, the weather was freezing, no one would come out during these temperatures unless absolutely necessary.  
Shadow turned an aisle, scanning the shelves for anything that may be of use. The Winter Soldier was on the other side, and they passed each other halfway, glancing at one another before scanning the shelves again.  
The fluorescent lights in the store were dim with age, humming lightly with electricity as a few flickered occasionally.  
After scanning all the shelves, The Winter Soldier approached Shadow, who was at the back of the store. She turned to him, and both of them looked at what they had gathered.  
They exchanged glances with raised eyebrows.  
They had gathered the same exact things, save for one item; Shadow had picked up a Snickers chocolate bar but the Winter Soldier had picked up a Reese's Puff's bar. Chocolate _and_ peanut butter.  
"Well," He stated simply.

She didn't reply, only held back the light tug at the corners of her lips as she put back everything, save for her Snickers bar and bottle of water. They walked to the counter where the old man was still dozing, and placed their things on the surface - bottled water, paperclips, some wire, the last red apple in the store along with the last few plastic bags, their snacks, and medical bandages, just in case.  
They could have just left the store and not paid, but for some reason neither of them even considered it.  
The Winter Soldier cleared his throat, but the old man continued snoring quietly. He cleared his throat again, louder this time, and slammed his right fist on the counter for good measure. The man snorted as his head shot up, looking startled. They were met with a pair of dark blue eyes drooping with age, making him look permanently sad. The old man cleared his throat, and seemed to offer the two of them a small smile with his thin lips as he calmly reached out for the items with a shaky hand.  
There was a very old computer on the counter, one of those big Acorn Archimedes with the noisy keyboard and yellowing color of age. It was clearly broken; the wires were unplugged and tangled, parts of their silicone jackets ripped and exposing the core.

The old man slowly punched in the price of the items into a calculator, and oddly enough, neither of the soldiers were annoyed by this despite their situation. They found it quite different; they were in no rush - even though they should have been - and they liked the fact that they were able to just stand there and wait, not for their target, but to pay.  
The old man adjusted his glasses and squinted at the calculator.  
"That would be... thirty-two dollars and forty cents." His voice was raspy with age, as if he were speaking with a constricted throat.  
Dollars.  
So they were in the US.  
The two hadn't expected anything regarding the overall price, and they assumed perhaps the goods sold in the town were more expensive than most places since it was isolated.  
The Winter Soldier took out the wallet and pulled out thirty-three dollars, placing it on the counter as Shadow stuffed everything into a plastic bag.

"Keep the change." The Winter Soldier said, and walked out the store as the old man said "Have fun!" in a crackly voice.  
Shadow found it odd why the old man even bothered to say such a thing. He was clearly better off not using his fading voice, and the two of them hadn't even smiled for him to have wanted them to have fun, let alone offer them smile in the first place. Shadow's face was blank as she left the store, and the last thing she saw was the old man running a bony finger over his scruffy brow.  
The Winter Solider was waiting outside the store for her, and when she came out, he asked her a question which surprised her.  
"What do I call you?"  
Shadow thought about his question, uncertain of the answer.  
"Raven." She said, although it came out sounding like a question.  
He gave a nod of his, and she asked him the same thing.  
"What do I call you? Because I'm not calling you Winter." She was unsure where this "humor" had come from, but her tone made it sound just as serious as her question, so there was, in fact, no humor at all in her voice.  
The Winter Soldier laughed by puffing air out of his nose, creating a cloud of white as he did.  
He was also uncertain of the answer, but after some thought, settled on his decision.  
"James." The name was foreign in many ways, but also familiar. It felt warm.

She gave a nod of her head and they both walked back the way came towards the motel.  
  
Once they entered the motel, they headed to what seemed to be the reception counter.  
"Fifteen dollars a night." The woman said, detached, not even offering them a "hello". She looked bored out of her mind. James placed three five-dollar bills on the counter. The woman frowned in annoyance. "Fifteen dollars a night _per person_."  
James gave her a ten and a five dollar bill, dismissing her attitude as she rolled her eyes, exasperated.  
"Second floor, room 23b." She said, dropping the keys on the counter and sitting back down on her rusty stool, grabbing a newspaper from beneath the wooden desk.  
James and Raven exchanged a glance before making their way up the two flights of stairs, quickly finding room 23b and unlocking the door to head inside.  
  
To say the place was falling apart would be an understatement.  
  
The room was like those old, abandoned houses where the paint was peeling off the walls, the floorboards creaked with every step, and the furniture seemed to have been broken and put back together over a hundred times.  
The whole room was gray and the air was stale. The definite smell of mold was instantly detected, and the air was also tainted with the faint smell of urine.  
It was so stuffy.  
And cramped.  
And... _uninviting_.  
"Could be worse." The Winter Soldier commented.  
"Yeah."  
Shadow was hesitant as she placed the bag on the counter. She didn't know why, but she felt like she always had an issue with... _dirtiness_. She didn't like it, and she recalled her experiences in certain HYDRA bases, where dried blood stained the floors even after endless scrubbing, the mold that crept up the walls like shadows, and the ever present scent of metal, man-made lightning, and blood.  
It was now she realized how much those seemingly unimportant factors added to her discomfort and anxiety.  
It was to be put up with, however, like everything else.  
  
The Winter Soldier walked around the cramped room, looking at the chipped wood and taking notice of the holes in the ceiling. After a brief but thorough search, he came back to Shadow, who was standing by the window, looking out through a slit in the worn curtains which were once a bright pink. Faded patterns of roses decorated the curtain, and the image of Shadow standing there beside it brought a flash of memories through his mind. He grasped the top rail of a chair, squeezing his eyes shut as his fists gripped the wood firmly. His shoulders hunched, muscles tensed, and flashes of white made his head ache with the oncoming rush of images.  
"James?" Her voice was uncertain. Concerned.  
It was the first time someone had called him by his name, which he remembered, that is, and her voice was soft enough to make him open his eyes. He didn't remember someone calling his name like that. With worry for him. It made his chest swirl with a mixture of foreign emotions. Feelings he was trained to block and ignore.  
He tried to make out the images that had so suddenly zapped through his mind, but like the last couple of times, there was no point. But there was one image. One _memory_ , to put it more accurately.  
There was an apartment. _He_ was in an apartment. There was a window, bright daylight pouring through, making everything seem like it was smiling. Beige curtains adorned with red roses had been pulled to the side. There was a boy by the window. A short, frail boy with dirty blond hair and small shoulders. His back was facing him, but the sight made him happy. _Had_ made him happy. Now it only made him confused. The memory faded just as the boy was about to turn around, and he struggled to hold on to it, but the harder he tried the quicker it faded. So he stopped. He let it go. He allowed it to drift to the back of his mind.  
He loosened his grip from the chair, only to realize that the top had snapped in half. He looked up at Shadow, who watched him with knitted brows, concern written on her face. He didn't take his eyes off of her. He liked how she looked at him. Not with pity, or remorse, but with worry. He liked the feeling of someone caring. _Her_ caring, because she understood. He wanted her to say his name again. She'd said it so softly.  
  
"Are you alright, James?" Shadow asked quietly, taking a step forward, wondering if it were the right thing to say.  
  
His jaw clenched as he swallowed, but he didn't reply, or shrug, for that matter. Only kept his eyes on her.

 


	11. Chapter 11

The Winter Soldier took a seat at the table, hesitant as he sat down in fear that it might break.  
  
The Fatal Shadow took a seat across from him, keeping her hands on her lap instead of resting them on the stained surface.  
  
He looked at her and let out a sigh, running and hand over the back of his neck.  
  
"We have to clear a few things up." He said, raising his eyebrows at her.  
  
She nodded in response.  
  
You may think that the setting was very awkward with the lack of words and uneasy trust. But it wasn't like that at all for them. They were both confused, uncertain of where they stood, and mistrusting of one another. They both understood that.  
  
"Are we in this thing together or not?"  
  
Raven hesitated. "I suppose."  
  
"That's not going to work."  
  
"Are we?" She questioned.  
  
James hesitated this time, but made his voice firm.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Raven eyed him, her eyes narrowing.  
  
"Okay." She said, giving a brief nod of her head. "Yes."  
  
The Winter Soldier inhaled a deep breath. Raven brought up the second clarification.  
  
"What exactly is ' _this thing_ ' we are in?"  
  
"Staying away from HYDRA." He said, clenching his jaw as he swallowed.  
  
"How long is that going to work?"  
  
"Not long. But we need to get out of this town. It's the first place they'd search."  
  
The gloomy light reflected from the gray clouds in the sky had spilled into the room. Raven glanced at the window.  
  
"There isn't an airport here. I would suspect a nearby train station, but that would be too risky since there wouldn't be safe escape if they found us." She looked at the Winter Soldier, her eyes already glinting with the answer to their situation. He knew what she was thinking, and he didn't like it.  
  
"Are you suggesting that we wait for HYDRA to come and find us?" His voice was grim, tinted with anger.  
  
"If they come with a Quinjet we'll be able to hijack it. It's our best chance."  
  
He shook his head. " _If_ they come on a Quinjet. It could be our _last_ chance."  
  
She looked down at her lap, entwining her fingers. "It's the best option." She repeated. If they didn't come on a Quinjet, if they were hopelessly out numbered, it would all be over. They would lose everything again.  
  
The Winter Soldier sighed. "I know."  
  
A few moments of silence passed.  
  
"I think we have enough weapons to get through." Raven said, referencing her bag which contained a machine gun, rifles, explosives, and taser rods, not to mention their own hand guns and taser disks.  
  
The corner of the Winter Soldier's mouth twitched upward. "Yeah, and enough experience." There was a dark side to his words, and it set an uneasy tension in the room.  
  
And then, the Winter Soldier's suspicion kicked in.  
  
"I don't trust you." He said, glaring at her.  
  
She studied him, not replying. It's not like she trusted him entirely, either. Why would he say that?  
  
"You're suggesting we wait for HYDRA to come here." He said. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed before. He discretely reached for the gun in his belt.  
  
Raven peered at him, raising an eyebrow. Her foot started fidgeting.  
  
"I told you what I remembered, I escaped the facility with you, we just agreed that we're together." She said, but decided to state the real reason.  
  
"We're not here to trust each other. We're here to escape HYDRA." She had noticed him reach for his gun, but she didn't move, just glanced at his arm to show him she had realized.  
  
The Winter Soldier looked down, stopped reaching for his holster, and took a deep breath. "Okay." He said simply in defeat. "Okay."  
  
Raven's face softened unwillingly, and when James looked up at her, surprise flashed across his features.  
  
He instantly fell in love with her expression.  
  
And it was in that moment he realized he did trust her, to some extent.  
  
  
  
Although it was a very long time from now, in a moment of much pain, in which he admitted he wholly trusted her.  
But that chapter of their story had not yet come.  
  
  
  
"Okay, but we should try to at least... know some things." He said uncertainly, knitting his brows together in hopes that she'd understand.  
  
She did, and she decided to speak first.  
  
"I have no idea what to say."  
  
He laughed through his nose, and Raven found herself liking it when he laughed like that; by puffing air out of his nostrils while a corner of his lip twitched upward. It made the corner of her own mouth do the same.  
  
"Me neither."  
  
"Want to eat?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
She rose from her seat and headed to the counter, where she rummaged though the plastic bag, taking out the single red apple.  
  
Sitting back down, she took out her pocket knife and sliced it in half smoothly. She offered a half to the Winter Soldier, who tenderly took it from her palm.  
  
"I don't remember having one of these." He stated, rotating the fruit in his hands, inspecting it's bright red color and faint, sweet scent.  
  
Raven nodded, and took a slow bite. The sweet flavors melted into her mouth, and she stopped chewing, savoring every second of the delicious taste as it danced across her tongue. The Winter Soldier shared her reaction, and neither of them wanted to finish the apple.  
  
It was the most delicious thing they remembered eating. Before, they rarely consumed food, and when they did, they were given the necessities; proteins and vitamins. All of which were tasteless and bland.  
  
"That was..." Raven tailed off, still savoring the remnants of the apple's sweet flavor.  
  
"Different." James finished.  
  
And that's exactly what it was.  
  
Sweet. Colorful. Flavored. Good. It was everything their life wasn't.  
  
Everything they foolishly hoped their lives could be. 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Darkness had settled and no stars were visible in the cloud-patched sky. The Winter Soldier and the Fatal Shadow had scoured the streets of the city, inspecting every corner, measuring the heights and distance of buildings, calculating the best escape routes and hidden attack positions. They had mapped out the entire town in their minds, engraving and recording every detail with just a simple glance. They were preparing for their inevitable attack. There had been some argument as to whether or not the use of explosives would be safe or even necessary; they had no intentions on endangering civilians. This was their first chance to decide who they wanted to harm or kill themselves, and now that they could make that decision, they chose not to. Save for the Hydra associates, who wouldn't be too lucky as to be shown mercy by the two deadliest assassins in the world.

 _She glared at him, staring him square in the face as he returned her cold gaze. She was shorter than him, but just as intimidating. “We have to use explosives.” She stated firmly as she studied his face._  
_“We can't afford to do that; It's too dangerous for the other people. We don't want to destroy buildings!” He replied just as sternly, taking a step towards her rigid stance._  
 _“That's exactly what we're going to do.” She said matter-of-factly. This caught the Winter Soldier off-guard. “What?” He asked incredulously, certain he had misunderstood._  
 _“We can't risk Hydra not coming with quinjets, so we have to create something big that they will hear of; something they have to get to immediately.” She explained, raising an eyebrow as her voice prodded him to catch on. He frowned, angry and confused. “You want to evacuate the whole city?” He questioned, trying to analyze the logic of her plan. It made sense, but he had a different course of action in mind._  
 _“We don't have to evacuate the entire city; just one section. Then we'll set off the explosives. The rest of the civilians will be sure to pour out in panic. Hydra is bound to hear about it before we're even done.” She explained further, and swept their surroundings with her eyes before setting them on the soldier again._  
 _“What if we just set explosions on the outskirts of the city? That way, we won't have to cause collateral damage.” He proposed, wiping the bridge of his nose with his hands._  
 _“Then how will we create the fire? We need a lot of smoke. Something big hat they can see.” Her brows knitted as she thought harder. “We'll be able to find things to carry to the outskirts. But the main point is to create panic.” He explained. She nodded her head, still deep in thought._  
 _“We need a commotion. News that would spread like fire.” She mumbled distractedly._  
 _They could use the pipes in the city. The trash bins. The rusted poles. There were so many resources right at the tips of her fingers that she could easily transform into weapons of mass destruction. Her fingers tingled with the urge to get to work. To connect wires and attach fuses. This made her excited. Eager. The mere thought of assembling an explosive was enough to get the adrenaline pumping in her body. The Winter Solider eyed her, seeing as her fingers fidgeted once. She suddenly turned to him, staring straight into his steel-blue orbs, once again catching him off guard with her own dark ones. "Let's get to work._

Raven's fingers deftly assembled the third explosive. Pipe bombs were generally classified as improvised weaponry, and could be made with the use of common materials which were widely available and even had use in day to day activities.

They had easily dismantled water pipes, and though they were rustier than Raven would have liked to work with, it would have to do, since they neither had the time nor the resources to improvise. All required components were in their possession, and the Winter Soldier watched closely as she carefully inserted the fuse into the steel pipe, guiding the wires out through the hole he had helped make with his left finger, and leading them to the other side of the pipe, where the opening had been sealed with a brass cap. The water pipe had been filled with gun powder earlier, and Raven finished off the bomb by connecting the fuse to the battery.  
The process didn't take up much time, and assembling such a weapon was as easy and normal for her as one was accustomed to walking and eating. It was second-nature, and the amount of times she'd required these skills for a mission was beyond counting, not to mention the hours of training it took to master each step, creating a reliable bomb in the least amount of time possible.  
Watching her hands weave among the items and wires made the Winter Soldier feel like he was in a trance. Her movements were so natural, so deft. But what really caught attention was her serene expression; she had a slight frown of concentration, and she looked about as comfortable at assembling the bomb as one would be watering plants. He forgot, momentarily, she was building a deadly weapon.  
  
Raven felt the keen stare of the Winter Soldier as he studied her movements,She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.  
  
"It was a large part of my training," She began, and the soldier, surprised yet pleased at her choice to speak, listened carefully.  
  
"I often lost the explosives that were given to me on my early missions, so I had to improvise." She finished another pipe bomb and carefully set it aside among the others. "I remember that."  
  
He nodded his head, digging among his own scattered memories, but unable to recall any memory regarding extensive training which focused on creating explosives. He knew other skills he was especially trained for, aside from hand-to-hand and knife combat, such as sniper and tactical practices including reaction-speeds and agility, among other similar sense training programs which were unnerving to remember.  
  
"The pipes are rusted, I don't want to risk premature ignition, so I suggest we set the bombs as soon as possible." She got up from the wooden floor, gray dust staining her black pants.  
  
"These," She said, placing two of the slightly smaller pipe bombs in his hand. "Are more pressurized; shrapnel. They're going near the entrances. They're chances of premature ignition are more, so set these first."  
  
The "entrances" were the most likely areas that Hydra's quinjet, or quinjets, would come from and un-board their occupants. There had been some discussion between the two soldiers, and the two had similar opinions on the locations. There would be ten normal pipe bombs and six more with shrapnel.  
  
James nodded his head in understanding, slightly unnerved with the two explosives in his hands. The brown rusting of the steel didn't do much to ease him. If one of them caps loosened... _Boom_ ; the concentrated pressure which triggered the bombs would be released.  
  
Raven grabbed a brown cardboard box, placing the two non-shrapnel explosives inside before taking the remaining two shrapnel ones from the Winter Soldier's hands and adding them to its contents with much care.  
  
"I'll make the rest while you set these." She handed him the box, which he took cautiously. "You cover the Northeast section."

* * *

The Winter Soldier placed the last bomb in its arranged place. Having placed the shrapnel explosives first, it had made him less troubled, but only slightly. He knew that the pipes weren't exactly the best quality one could hope for, but there was no other option, and he trusted Raven's skills.  
  
He met her halfway up the stairs, carrying a box of her own. "This is all of it." She informed, looking down into the box. "I found aerosol cans."  
  
The Winter Soldier looked at her quizzically, unsure of what she meant. Her lips curved up a bit. "I made a few smoke bombs." She took three out from the box, handing two of them to him. "You're taking up the head-front, so you'll need it more than I will."  
  
He nodded his head, carefully securing the smoke bombs in his waist belt as she copied him. He peeked inside the box, and surely enough, the rest of the explosives were all tucked neatly beside each other as Raven carefully made her way down the stairs. Perhaps assembling the bombs in the motel hadn't been the best idea as far as ignition risks were concerned, but what was done was done.

* * *

  
Raven set the remaining explosives covering the Northwest section of the small town. The explosion radius had been calculated and taken under account, and no damage, at least not a lot, would be inflicted on the buildings and houses. One explosion would go off, and the impact radius would set off the next explosion, causing a chain-reaction.  
  
Raven handed her companion one of two rod-tasers she had stolen from the BEMEC Complex, offered him the machine gun, a set of taser disks, and extra ammo for his rifle, not to mention two of the four remaining spherical explosives which she had also taken from the facility's weaponry room. They were to be used only in case of emergencies, since they came quite in handy and were the most sophisticated weapons they had possession of.  
  
The Winter Soldier's doubts remained ever present and flourishing in his mind; he couldn't wrap his head around the fact they were so easily risking their capture by Hydra. To wait for them to come? To _lure_ them here when they had tried to get away? So easily? So soon? There were other options, just none that would be as efficient if things turned out their way. But the course of action they'd taken wasn't efficient considering _all_ matters. The risks were much higher. But if they succeeded, it would be... Amazing. They would have a quinjet. They were more than familiar with its structure and they would be able to disable all tracking devices. But did it out weight the risks? What were the chances of the two soldiers getting that far? The anxiety that uncertainty had given birth to was gnawing at the back of the brains of both assassins. They couldn't change their mind now; if they left for the station, which they didn't even know the location of, Hydra would catch up to them. Hiding in the city wasn't an option; surely they would find them. It didn't matter if it took days or weeks. Staying here wouldn't get them anywhere, even though it was better than returning to the serpentine-logo organization.  
  
Raven came to a stop beside James, the snow crunching softly beneath her boots. "It's not too late to change your mind." She said, taking in the snowscape before her.  
"I think it is." He replied grimly. Raven's expression remained blank as both of them kept their gaze ahead of them.  
"You could find the station. I could stay back here, distract them with the explosives. They'll think we're both together." She offered. Her proposition surprised him, making him look at her confusedly. "At least one of us gets away that way. If I make it, I'll come for you." She finished. James considered her words but shook his head after a moment's thought. "You won't win on your own."  
"I might." She countered, although her voice hinted otherwise. Their chances were already unnervingly low. If one of them were to leave, it would dwindle down to almost zero.  
"We're doing this together." He stated, pin-pricks needling his spine as he thought of what would happen if Hydra was successful in capturing them. Any memory he had from the organization was terrifying. He wanted nothing to do with it. Never again. Yet here he was, not accepting the chance to escape. He couldn't pin-point the reason why, exactly. Was it to do because they were "together" in this? Because they were both together _so far_? Because they both wanted to escape? He didn't know, but it didn't feel right to leave her on her own. It would be like leaving a worm among a flock of hungry pigeons. She wouldn't make it through, and he didn't want that.  
She wanted to escape just as much as he did. So why would she offer him the option to leave? Because _"one of us gets away that way."_ He swallowed, deciding not to dwell on the decision any further and simply saying _"_ I am not leaving _"_ in his mind once and for all.  
  
"Let's get into position." The Winter Soldier commanded, and with a brief nod of approval from Raven, they both turned to head back to their appointed battle positions. They were in a battle, after all. Both of them were going to fight with everything they had. They would rather risk everything than be strangled by Hydra's tentacles again. They had nothing to lose.  
  
"Ten seconds." Raven informed before they parted paths.  
  
  
  
She glanced one last time at the peaceful scenery before her, drinking in all the silence before turning away. Her thumb pressed down on the trigger.


End file.
